What Rich People Eat
1) They have a staple food.
Only really poor people have a staple food, because they are too poor to buy lots of different things. In Australia, most people get to eat a wide variety of food, even if they are less rich. This is a luxury that would have been beyond the comprehension of all but the most bloated aristocrats over the whole of recorded human history.
2) They ask where something is sourced.
Demanding a narratively satisfying origin story for food is a classic rich-people giveaway. It’s like asking what your daddy does, but about asparagus.
3) There are too many bright colours on the package.
This code is definitely reserved for the ‘Less Rich’. Rich people food comes in earth tones. In the wild, anything that is the colour of Doritos will kill you horribly and immediately. This is true of actual Doritos too, but in a slower, more chronic obesity and type II diabetes kind of way.
4) The food is difficult to pronounce.
Quinoa, Gubinge, Camu Camu, Acai Berry. All of these are foods that rich people pay a lot of money eat. The more of them there are in close proximity inside a dish or spoken sentence, the more likely you are to be talking to a Rich person.
5) They don’t eat for days at a time.
This is true of both Rich and Poor people. Poor people sometimes can’t afford to eat food, and so they don’t. Rich people sometimes refuse to eat food so they can feel smug or thin. If you can’t tell the difference, check for an aura of smugness.